Dating a Musician in 2020: Things to Know, Pros, Cons

Archives RSS. Sign up for our newsletters Subscribe. Even as a girl , I wholeheartedly defend the no-girlfriends rule. That goes for boyfriends, too. Should I look interested? Should I look at them? Should I look away? Should I just write all affectedly in my goth diary? Being on the other side of it is still just so. Band practice is for getting work done.

Why Dating As a Musician Is So Hard…

No musician is ever going to stay in one place for long. This is — there are more than enough ways to stay in touch: phone calls, texts, Skype — but remember he is doing his job and fulfilling his dream. You should be too. Find a happy medium in long distance communication. These guys are his best friends, his coworkers, his confidantes. If you mean anything to him, you will eventually cross paths with his friends.

Screaming fans when you’re on stage, then back home to feed the cat. Musicians talk about the psychological dangers of life on tour.

On-stage and bathed in sweat, musicians can be irresistible. But that’s looking at it through rose-tinted, beer-goggled, fan-centric glasses. I mean, have you ever tried to maintain a relationship with someone who makes music? Not only is their off-stage presence horrendously underwhelming, they comprise of some of the most selfish, unreliable entities on the planet, second only to domestic cats. Musicians profoundly suck.

When it comes to dating people in bands, the best advice would probably be— don’t. But if you absolutely must fall for that guy or girl who slapped you around the heart with their keytar playing swagger—and you will, because love knows no boundaries—then here is a guide to navigating each stage of the relationship, from asking for their number to wondering where it all went wrong and cry-wanking to songs they wrote about you.

If you meet someone who plays in a band who also has the internet, then a few minutes of scrolling through their Twitter feed in a toilet cubicle should give you a vague idea of their interests.

Six Tips for Dating a Musician

Musicians are a rare breed. More likely you will hear innumerable practice sessions, tedious warm-up exercises, and musical phrases repeated over and over and over. I sound like CRAP today! The musician might be perfecting a pianissimo passage, or writing markings in the part.

14 things you should know before dating a musician you ought to wear, or how to deal with dilemmas when you yourself have young ones.

According to the movies, dating a musician instantly transports you to this adventurous and exciting world where the music never stops and the party never ends. You’re suddenly hanging out in cool places, surrounded by cool people who talk about cool things “Remember that time when we were on tour Unfortunately or maybe fortunately for us musicians , the movies don’t show the not-so-glamorous side.

After all, loving a music man ain’t always what it’s supposed to be If you didn’t get that reference, we’re already off to a rocky start. We probably have opposite schedules. I work nights and weekends. I know I’m the life of the party at work, but can we please just Netflix and chill. A lot of attractive people hit on me.

It comes with the job. Don’t worry though; it ‘s not because I’m actually that hot. They’re just drunk and I seem cool because I’m singing.

Thou Shalt Not Date a Musician

Long hours in vans and solitary hotel rooms. Musicians talk about the psychological dangers of life on tour. While many may envisage the life of a touring musician to be that of a glorified jetsetter, the reality is far from idyllic.

Ah, musicians. They’re a special breed. They find emotional releases in writing melodies, they turn their personal lives into song lyrics, and they.

When I was a teenager, I use to fantasize about dating a musician. I love music and used to go to shows a lot, and musicians seemed like the best kind of artists and poets. Music is poetry, craftsmanship, technique, stage presence and so much more! Primarily he plays an upright bass in a jazz band that plays around town, and is an audio engineer for some of the shows coming through town.

While I am supportive of him and his career, there is no denying how NOT frugal it is to be a musician. Holy heck, the equipment is expensive! The upright bass alone is several thousand dollars. Sound recording equipment and software can also add up pretty quickly. New bass strings, new tuners, new software, new mics, new gear, etc. If you want to be a professional, you need to have professional gear.

This has been something that is constantly looming over our heads.

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Dating a musician isn’t all backstage passes and serenades. Sure, your guitar-wielding lover may get you into cool shows and write you sweet love songs, but they may also turn life’s simple joys into smoldering piles of garbage. See also: The cheesiest Tinder pickup lines from foodies.

brimming with love of cynicism, here is a guide to relationship DON’Ts when dating a musician in a band. Don’t go to their band practices.

You will always, unreservedly and unashamedly come second. Just putting this out there. He’ll have more intense relationships with his bandmates than he’ll ever have with you. You’ll be dropped at a moment’s notice when his guitarist is ‘feeling meh’, or his bassist’s gerbil died…or he’s been offered a plus one to a gig where he HATES the band but there might be a schmoozable contact there.

If you complain about this, you’re massively selfish, FYI. You will be tired. You have a nine-to-five. Heck, if we didn’t need to be at work at nine, we’d also be tempted to sip rioja in the kitchen at 2am on a Tuesday night, chewing the cud over whether Jeff Buckley’s finest hour was prophetic in the wake of his unexpected demise.

Your desire to be in bed before 1am on a schoolnight will make you feel squarer than Spongebob and you can forget any notion that sex will happen within the confines of when “The Man” dictates you should have it. Commitment nope. Ok so consciously-uncoupling’s got Gwynnie written all over it but when quizzed about their split, Chris Martin essentially bemoaned his inability to extract enjoyment from what was otherwise a great relationship because of “this”. The key here is that even Chris Martin who really ought to know better allowed this “burden” to take precedence over simply getting over himself.

Groupies at gigs.

Insomnia, anxiety, break-ups … musicians on the dark side of touring

We all have types. Some of us go for the nerdy, smart ones. Some go for the bad boys with the tattoos and motorcycles. Some go for the completely unavailable. Some go for the too available. Of course, I have a type as well.

We know it’s tempting to date the drummer you met at the Arcade Fire and even if he does score a huge record deal there’s no saying that.

What I mean is someone whose passion in life is playing music. Musicians are emotional, complex, deep, and passionate. They express themselves in a very vulnerable way through their music. Music is their way of connecting with the world. There are certain things you need to know if you find yourself dating a musician. Musicians have A LOT of feelings.

Do Musicians have a Dating Advantage?